Dark clouds whisper, the thing I always feared. A dark sky, clouds pushing down the pressure in the atmosphere. Usually I step back into the house when this comes but I never get to do the things I want in there. This is the work I needed to do on the outside, this is the catalyst my whole life as built up to. As it starts to rain, I wonder, when did I begin to fear water and darkness? Why did I let it stop me? I was taught how to walk on water, and I was given a bright beating heart, so what am I so afraid of? If I only looked closer I would see there is so much more that I am capable of overcoming. As everything comes my way, the wind swirls and I remember something about her, that we share the same name and she obeys my voice. So gentle I speak and settle the storm so I can freely walk into the unknown.
I wonder if breathing always felt this good, as I walk above the hole in the ozone layer. Gravity gave me a lift as it disappeared. Sitting in the middle of the cosmos I was floating watching swirling blue stars stand all around me, some clustering together. They shine and glimmer and stir my soul with relief that this place exists. I never knew it did. It was on the other side of fear that I finally experienced what it felt like to be human. As my blood ran warm for the first time in years, and color filled my cheeks, I smiled so wide I couldn’t go back to fear even if I could. Traveling back down to the wasteland, I took a latter back down to Earth and knew that everything was going to change.
The prismatic heart stands in it’s own orbit, but the sun hadn’t touched it yet. In the cold it sat waiting for years to see the light, it almost forgot it existed. So it sat, wondering what it was, and why it looked as though it was empty but always felt fulfilled. And when the planets shifted, and the sun chose to shine in a new direction, the prism was the first to see the light and the world watched as a million different colors showered them in a love so bright and so bold, it could never be denied nor forgotten.
The breathes I breathe are jagged and I try to form a deep breath. Pine needles that fall slowly stick to my sweaty skin as I make my way up the forrest. Through the trees, I can see an orange glow and I walk slowly to see the sunset. I wrestled with my impatience of not being at the top yet when the wind caught my attention and made a swirling display of the desert below. I had become so hungry to reach the top, I forgot where I came from and almost missed the beauty of where I was. Time stood still, I settled onto a rock dusted with pine needles and shared a loving glance with the sun as she told me to rest. Tomorrow I may reach the top, maybe I won’t, but I love this mountain and every moment is a treasure.
My clothes are black today, as a war fills my brain. Enough ammunition that fell out of the mouth of another, fills my mind. I didn’t want this, but nevertheless I picked it up until I realized I can put it down. As I lay the weapons down, I realize I am left amongst ashes and coal. I am just a large piece of coal. Then a weary disappointment sets in, a pressure of pain that I could not escape because the truth had been revealed and I couldn’t look away. As I sat in silence and decided to make a change, a diamond as pure and crystalline as daylight made her way through, just waiting for me to make the right choice. Now my mind is calm and I have peace and all the ammunition in the world could only but fall at my feet.
The clearing in the middle of the forrest was over flowing with life, hiding it perfectly away from the world with all of its life and color. Like being the heart of a painting, carrying the heart beat but never being seen, I entered. I step out of my shoes and walk onto the soft green grass and begin to dance as though no one is watching because they are not, and I am free. And as I sang and danced without my fears, the canvas came down and the frame unhinged and I found myself dancing before the world as they shouted “Aurora!” and my true identity was out and could not hide again but I no longer wanted to when I saw how beloved I truly was, it was just hidden from me.
Side Note: this is a huge sleeping beauty reference in case you didn’t catch it.
All of my sadness was collected in a dirty rusty pale, a heavy weight that I carried clumsy in a yellow sundress and bare feet. The land before me was a desolate wasteland that I had traveled away from to get this water. Before when I sat here, I planted seeds that I plucked from my own soul with many accusations about how foolish I was to believe something so great could come from something so small. I plopped to the ground, water sloshing around as I gracelessly tipped it over and buried it beneath the soil. When I did, my legs were covered in mud, my sundress was dirty but my body was lighter and I could breathe deeply. I sat looking around without expectations when wild flowers raged through the earths surface just as eager as I was to finally breathe.