I hear tapping on my window and I slowly open my eyes to the blue light outside. At six A.M the whole town has taken on a shade of blue the french call, l’huere blu, the blue hour. I grab my white fluffy blanket and tug it up to my chin with a smile on my face. Mornings like this I stay a while under the covers and watch outside my window. Some stars are here, some stars are fading and the moon is bidding its last farewell for the night. In a moment the stars and moon are gone and the world becomes cobalt. Then as I rest in this early morning rising, I begin to think. Lightening strikes as I begin. I thought about how much my life is about to change. How different everything will be now that my grieving has ended. I thought about poverty. I thought about how people are so hard on themselves with budgets when there is nothing wrong with how they spend money, just how they’re getting it. For example, a family spends money on food, clothing, bills and a couple of family activities and they’re still struggling for money. Frustrated with themselves they make budgets no one could ever get to and try to withdraw from what they deem frivolous when its basic needs for survival, even the entertainment. If they were spending money of golf clubs when no one golf’s, new appliances every year and thousands of dollars of things they will never use, that is frivolous. Which brings me to my next point, that I think the workforce is tainted. The work force has begun asking for too much and giving too little. Leaving people more like scavengers than employees. A person’s time, effort and energy should be honored with how much they are getting paid. To barely afford an apartment under one income is dishonorable. Perhaps this isn’t the worlds problem but ours. Is it the way the world is set up? Or is it ourselves and our mindset on what is attainable and what we have to do for money? If you grew up in a tense house hold were money was always a problem and your parents not only shared that information but screamed at and blamed you, chances are you’re in a job that is over demanding and doesn’t pay well. Thus, recreating the patterns of your childhood for you to endure all over again. If you grew up in an abundance mindset and abundant household you probably wouldn’t stress over the idea of money and work because opportunity and providence are all around you, preparing you for a successful life. However, being human means we have the privilege to change our parents programming and decide what we will believe for ourselves for better or for worse. By Gods good grace if we realize this we have already taken the first step to changing our minds. I decided I didn’t want to work for anyone else, only myself so I set out to be an author. I wanted freedom, a purpose and my own ideas to share with the world. These things can be done from a career where it isn’t just a one man show but I am built for self sustainability and independence. I now get to enter back into working basic jobs to make this happen, I’m not happy about it but I have faith it’ll work out. The blue of the morning is beginning to fade. The rain lightens and my cats and kittens have jumped onto my stomach awaiting their morning snuggles. I lay there at seven a.m and I smile because I know I am just starting but in a way, I have already made it.