If I ever get famous, I don’t think the adjustment would be to rough. I live in a small town, and as Miranda Lambert says, everybody dies famous in a small town. Like most famous people, their mistakes and short comings are magnified, twisted into whatever perception someone feels like that day. These false judgments can spread like wildfire passed through the wrong hands and ears. The worst part? You can’t say anything. You can’t get embarrassed, you can’t get defensive, you can’t start doubting yourself. The only thing you can do, is keep going.
Lets be honest, I make mistakes, and when I make them, I go all the way. I mess up so badly I have to start over. This is how I learn. Trial and error. I’m not ashamed of it, I’m not going to cry about it or start blaming people, I accept it and move on. The only thing that is hard about this is trying not to demonize people who lurk in the shadows, waiting for something to talk about to distract from their life. I try to remember these are still human beings worthy of forgiveness, but it’s really hard. Sometimes. With some people. I have a list. The thing about these people is it doesn’t matter how well you do things or how much you accomplish, they’ll find something. And the second you stumble, they’ll be like, see? She deserved that. It’s something completely void of compassion.
I used to think I suffered from anxiety as a child, and I did, but it had a base. Shame. Shame is a useless emotion. Catholics have Catholic guilt, and Baptists duel out shame. If we weren’t ashamed of anything, life would be so much easier, with every problem taking weights off it’s shoulders. Now I refuse to do two things; feel ashamed or worried. Both are struck from my choice of emotions. There is way to much to be grateful for. To much to do. So much to see and feel, I won’t dwell on anything useless ever again. Also, speaking of religion titles, I go by just Sierra now, because thats what God calls me.
So if you’re failing or stumbling or struggling, I salute you. This isn’t forever. Keep learning and growing and taking all the opportunities to face yourself and become the greatest version of yourself you can be.