In the Weeds

Are there any waitresses who read this blog? I fell into waitressing a couple years ago and I’ve been here ever since. It’s kind of like that boyfriend you wish you could break up with but always end up texting to watch a movie when your bored. I love it, don’t get me wrong. I love running around and talking to people and trying new foods that I was never exposed to. Restaurant work can be an incredible opportunity to make new friends, have a flexible schedule, avoid the gym, and make good money. I have no complaints. This winter I worked solo and did some modeling, some pop ups and little gigs here and there. The only problem was, I loved it. I took some time to work on some projects, do the things I love and travel and I loved it so much. But alas, I am human and part of the human experience is money no matter how much I want to ignore it. It’s not that I don’t like money, I just don’t really care. In my mind, I’m thinking of making a change in the world and doing something that aligns with my values and make my soul happy, to fall back into what feels like materialism, is a headache. I’ve changed though. Jen Senario wrote a book about money that helped me change my perspective on it. Just because you focus on building wealth and pay your bills doesn’t make you materialistic or void of true ambition. However, in my defense, I have seen many people who only value paid work and paying bills with no other vibrant threads woven into their life. To me it seemed like a dull and broken system but I know now that is not the only way to live. In my opinion, expression comes before anything. A healthy, happy person is a functional person. And you cannot be happy without expressing yourself, without being truthful and living within your values. So many people have told me to work at night clubs because they think I would make lots of money but thats a big fat no. I like either star gazing or sleeping at night, I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t like loud dark places and I don’t like being objectified. So that doesn’t work for me. But breakfast waitressing in a cute small place, with other kind women and a boss who I think I can learn a lot from, is different. It fits me. It’s happy, it’s fast pace and theres food. I’m good.

Basically what I’m getting at is I’m in the weeds right now in life. I have work, family, finances, a calling and a desire to living life fuller all colliding at the same time and they are all in crisis mode. But like in the weeds in waitressing, thats when you make the most money, meet the most people and accomplish most of your work. Life can be like being weeded sometimes, but it’s always for your benefit. You just wont see that until your waking up the next day with money, friends and a completed task.

I liked working solo I really did. But I think there is a way to balance everything at once. Because before anything else, my first value is people. What good would it be to follow my dreams if no one else was involved? People are my true passion and even though I’m not where I thought I would be right now, I think somehow this is better. That somehow God is placing me where I need to be to learn, to connect, to express and then move forward.

For those of you who have never served, in the weeds is a saying for when its so busy that you can barely function and you have a million things to do at once.

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