The First Time I Felt Fear

I remember the first time I felt fear. I was a girl walking outside to the car with my mom and  I began to sing. Earlier that day, my sister heard me sing and said it sounded like the radio. It wasn’t what she said that gave me faith that day, it was that I felt it, and then I heard it echoed in someones voice that I loved. I was so scared at what I realized I could do, but she reassured me instantly and fear never grew. Outside with my mom I tried for her to hear and she brushed me aside. I can’t remember what she said but it felt like a dungeon locking up deep down inside. I kept singing in private, but I would never go above a certain note. I was to afraid. Later on I was bullied by someone in elementary school who said I sounded like a cow, and then when I reached out to my best friends mom she interrupted and told me I should hear her daughter sing because she was actually talented. This is how I became afraid and doubtful of my own voice. But then, I moved into my own apartment and my upstairs neighbor didn’t mind how loud or how much I sang, so I did. Here’s the thing about singing, its something you have to play with and practice just like anything else to find your niche. It’s not about being perfect the first time you open your mouth. If I could go back to my child self, I would give her a wink and say sing anyways. Because I love singing, so that’s what I should be doing, talented or not. Life isn’t about perfect but about goodness. There are many people who have talented voices but sing for the wrong reasons. That reason being they think they have to but it isn’t what they want and nothing else.

You can’t always control the people your surrounded by or what situation life bring you, but you can have faith. You can let it light instead of darkness, and glow regardless.

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